Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
