Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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