some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
