Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
