There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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