hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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