um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
