omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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