it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
