Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
