can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
