I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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