i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
