i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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