So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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