listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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