Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
