For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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