I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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