My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
