even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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