i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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