Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
All I want is dick and wine.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
