I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
