we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
