Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
