So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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