You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME