yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The air was thick with penises
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on