"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"