Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
