Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
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She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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