And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?