I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
