At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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