Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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