But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
