oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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