So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
