Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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