Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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