Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
