Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
