...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
