I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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