considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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