i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize