is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
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