i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
