I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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