R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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