i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
