i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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