It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
