There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
