ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
