then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
