well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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