Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Randomize
