Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
