it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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