Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
