Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
