She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
