I am in a vortex of obligation.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
