Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
